life without sadie, day 3
today seems to be going better (so far at least). i am optimistic enough to put on mascara; we’ll see how long that lasts.
the laundry and other tasks are piling up around here, as they just seem so inconsequential. i still can’t bring myself to wash your coat, which looks empty without you in it: a red quilted shell. i feel empty too, like a little space has been carved out inside my heart and i’m not sure how to fill it. the silence is overwhelming.
on a brighter note, we’re going to the mountains this weekend. do you remember the mountains? i remember how you would bound through the snow like a maniacal deer, confused about why your paws were so cold and the world was so blindingly white. or maybe you were happy. it was always so hard to tell.
i hope that wherever you are now, you are happy. it’s all i ever wanted for you, of course, but now it seems even more important.