false advertising

May 15, 2011 at 12:20 pm Leave a comment

i have a shameful secret. it’s embarassing. it’s not sexy. and i hate it when it happens. don’t tell anybody, but i tend to get cankles while flying.

there, i said it. the downside to having low blood pressure {my doctor loves me} is that things don’t recirculate as well as i would like and it has to settle somewhere. unfortunately that somewhere is in the vicinity of my feet. hell-ooooo little piggies!

so this trip, i vowed to suck it up and purchase some compression socks, which is really just a nice-sounding way to say granny hose. what cracked me up about these, though, was the packaging. nobody buying compression socks thinks they’re in for a sexy treat, but the package is so misleading as to be comical.

false advertising at its best

i mean, look at her: she’s wearing pantyhose, opening a little box that i suspect has a ring in it, probably from the guy in the frame behind her. {awwwwww…}

but let’s get back to reality, where these things are clearly not “ultra sheer”, “stylish leg therapy” that make your legs “look as good as they feel”. unless your legs feel crappy, old, and granny-like, that is. {and yes, they go all the way to the knee. hot.}

oh yeah, these things are hawt!

let’s face it: no one will be proposing to me or fawning over me once they get a look at these bad boys. good thing i’m wearing jeans & boots. the only one who’s really seen these in action is the poor tsa guy who looked at my full body private parts invasion scan.

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how much are your toiletries worth? i’m back

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